Book Excerpt

From Part IV: Reclaiming Your Manhood: The First Step to Getting Everything You Really Want

Do you feel something is missing from your life? Something that can't be defined or described easily? Maybe it’s a feeling of strength, or being a protector, or having earned the right to be a leader of others. Whatever it is, it’s a nagging, gnawing feeling that never quite defines itself and makes it into your consciousness. It’s the feeling of anxiety, frustration, and the inability to get what you want, and not know the source of this feeling or the reason for it. Nothing is worse for a man.

These feelings of “missing manhood” hold us back from success in life, and with women. Feeling there’s something missing, and wanting to fill that void, is bad enough. What makes it unbearable is that what we want more than anything—attention, attraction and adoration from the right person—are tied DIRECTLY to this particular loss.

I’m going to show you how to put this all behind you and finally become the powerful man you were meant to be. The kind that gets the woman of his dreams, gets his dream job, makes his millions, gains respect and admiration from other men, and elicits true affection from children.

You will need to change your current paradigm and belief systems. You must completely expel the "boy" from your mind, body and soul forever. Before you can even begin to think of attracting what was meant for you, you must transform yourself into the powerful, confident, masculine man that all people are looking for, even if they can’t articulate it themselves. Sound overwhelming? Impossible? Well, it’s not. Here’s how:

Be an Alpha!

What do the following men, or at least the public roles they embody, have in common? Al Pacino (think Michael Corleone). Clint Eastwood. Warren Buffet. Bill Clinton. They’re all Alpha men. They are decisive, strong-willed, intelligent, interesting, confident, generous.

Are you an Alpha male? You don’t have to be a mega-achiever to be an Alpha male. If that was a pre-requisite, few men would ever qualify. Answer this for yourself…When you walk into a room, do the other guys check you out and acknowledge, in their own minds, that you’re an Alpha? Or do you look around for the high-status guys? Do all the women’s eyes track your moves and follow you around the room? Men and women instinctively recognize an Alpha. Not only that, they’re attracted to it.

Become an Alpha in your own mind and you will become it in reality. Many studies have proven that the subconscious doesn’t know the difference between reality and fantasy. It believes what your mind conveys. You will actually feel and behave differently if you act like an Alpha. What you believe permeates. What you believe, is. Act like an Alpha even before you believe that you are, and you’ll “trick” yourself into accepting it as fact. Before you know it, it will be fact.

Focus on Yourself

Admit it…you spend way too much time trying to one-up the other guy. You’re never going to get ahead and reclaim your power by focusing on others.

Run your own race. Do not compare your wins and losses to other men’s. We all want to be winners. But, if all men win sometimes—and we do—then all men must lose sometimes. Stop trying to beat others. You are not in competition with them. Compete with yourself only. Learn your own lessons. We all know what happens when we look over our shoulder. We lose our place. And what about when we do happen to “beat out” the other guy? We get distracted by gloating and then we lose our place in the bigger, more important race. Repeat after me… Other men do not matter. They only serve as a distraction. Stay focused on you.
Become selfish. This doesn’t mean egotistical or greedy. It means make yourself a priority, fill yourself up, keep yourself happy and satiated. I know it seems to confirm what many women already feel—that men are selfish; that we don’t care about others and we don’t give to others. The truth is, only after satiating yourself can you become consistently generous. Then and only then can you give abundantly to others. You can’t give what you don’t have. The key here is consistency. Being generous doesn’t mean giving once or twice, or being giving in the beginning of a relationship—until the real you comes through. Alpha men constantly give. Giving radiates from them naturally. And it attracts others who want “the aura” of happiness and contentment that you have, and who will benefit from and appreciate your generosity.

Evolve Yourself

Being an Alpha man doesn’t mean that you are “complete.” Even when we’re dead we’re not complete. We’re only finished. But if you’re not growing, you’re dying. Alpha men realize that they have much to learn and can grow in many ways; ways that will make you much more interesting, attractive and even fascinating to everyone.

The keys to evolving are these:

You are a beginner. Accept it. Embrace it! Don’t be fearful that you’re not good enough, or that you don’t know what you should know. We all need to start on the first rung. Keep going, never stop and you will transition to the next level. Do not lay down, ever. Each time you see or become aware of new things you are a beginner anew. And that’s a good thing. Evolving, interesting men start anew all the time. When you experience a new feeling or encounter a new situation, don’t worry that you haven’t mastered it. Feel joy and excitement about learning yet another new lesson or skill, and know that it will carry you even further. Realize, too, that you don’t need to know how you are going to accomplish this. Just start and never stop. The way will show itself to those who never stop. And before you know it, you will handle any and every situation with finesse.
Work on changing yourself—not others. As a rule, you can’t change other people. So if things are not going your way—if that woman you’re infatuated with doesn’t care to know you, if you can never seem to land your dream job—stop trying to change the other people. Look into yourself. Spend a lot of time asking yourself, for instance, why am I attracted to this type of woman or job, how can I make myself stand out, rather than how can I change their minds about me? Changing your own mindset and your own behaviors will transform everything else in your life, and could even make that company or that woman want you in the end. But that cannot be your starting point or your purpose.
Build a strong, potent self image, an image that you absolutely love. See yourself as a man that is very attractive to both women and men. If a man is impressed and attracted by your power, a woman will be so doubly. Identify two men that carry themselves the way you would hope to, that are powerful and attractive on many different levels. Study these men, the men that you want to emulate, and structure yourself after them. This doesn’t mean become them—you can only be yourself—but you can emulate their attractive qualities, such as the way they walk into a room, the way they converse with people, the liveliness in their attitude, the success that exudes from them. Then, reflect on this image (now of yourself), and believe that it is you and bask in it. Stay with it. Go to it three or four times a day. Remember, if you imagine it enough and believe it enough, your subconscious will also believe it, your body and mind will respond and you will become the powerful, potent man that others want to emulate.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. It’s the one shot you have. Do you want to settle for something less than you deserve and less than you can have? You don’t have to settle at all. Everything is there for the taking, it really is. Do you nourish your body with food each day? Clean it, dress it? So what about your experiences, your mind and the potential that lies within it? How do you nourish your mind? Your potential? It is your duty to expand and evolve. It is your duty to reward yourself and the people in your life with the infinite sources that are yours for the taking.
Learn from your failures, don’t dwell on them. It will cost you nothing and will pay you back exponentially. Each failure is a learning experience! (What have you learned?) Do not attach meaning to any failure. There is no such meaning. We all fail sometimes, and we all feel like failures sometimes. The key is to use each failure as a tool, not a limitation. See it as a blessing, an opportunity for learning. As Thomas Edison, one of our world’s greatest successes, said “If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is often a step forward.... Many of life's failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” So, like Edison, stop for a moment, consider the “failure,” think about why it happened and how you can avoid repeating this in the future, and then move on. And even while you’re considering and learning from your failures, hold yourself as a success. As long as you always see yourself as a success, you will be perceived by others this way. Do you know any partner worthy of having that is turned on by someone who gets stuck in his failures?